Living The Grand Life Now

Have you ever thought about why women are feared so much by men?

I did, and today, through observations, conversations, education, I learned a great many things about women.

A woman is passionate - right or wrong, she can be passionate, thus easily deceived by those who would choose to take ad

From: http://ping.fm/llCMR

As grandparents, we can be the ties that bind family together. And in some cases, we become the family hub where all who come know it is safe. If there are problems in the homes of our children, in some cases divorce, or even death of a parent which are all traumatic in themselves, but to know that there is already built in and established relationship going on, will help everyone during these difficult times. In many cultures the grandparents live with their married children, and help raise the grandchildren. This gives the reinforcement of principles, traditions, values, and virtues to be handed down generation to generation. Pr 24:3 “ A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good choices with knowledge filling the rooms of the house with all kinds of valuable assets and resources.

The challenge we face in our society is to recognize what we have to offer as valuable. Again Proverbs provides an excellent resource of confirming the value of our words. In Chapter 8 starting in verse 10, wisdom is compared with precious gems, and knowledge more valuable than silver or gold, and there is nothing that can compare with that. Chapter 20:15 says that wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold and rubies.

As a grandparent, we must recognize a sad reality and truth; many people have children, but a lot of them do not want to or have no idea how to be parents. There are no Marriage 101 or Parenting 101 classes taught in school to prepare us for life. And this is where we have the unique distinction of being seasoned, experienced, tried and true “experts” in training up our grandchildren. We have earned the position to be called on by our children to help with them. But what if we are not around?

The casualty rate increases when family is not involved in the lives of young members of the family. The break in the chain, the link that should not be broken is the relationship of grandparent, grandchild however, the loss of that relationship is not felt in the beginning sometimes until it is too late. And this loss reverberates throughout the entire family and sets the course to breaking the family apart due to lack of strong family ties, family relationships, family traditions that would instead solidify and strengthen the family unit across generations. The God designed support system disintegrates when we abdicate our responsibility and take off because we want to relax, enjoy our life, not have cares, retire, etc…but the Bible does not let us get away with it because it gives grandparents a mandate to teach our children's children.

Chapter 4 of Proverbs tells of the father instructing his children as his father instructed him, and here we see plainly how one generation has passed words of wisdom to the next generation and that is being perpetuated by this father now passing this legacy to his children.

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Remember the last day of school? The air was buzzing with excitement and anticipation as we all sat in desks, watching the clock, waiting for the bell to ring - and bang! The doors to the classrooms would open, kids running up and down the hallway saying good byes to friends and out the doors of the building. Soon, the hallways would be silent, the clicking of a teacher's heels would be heard for a moment or so, and then with a heavy slam, the doors to the school building would be shut.

It's Summer! Freedom! 2 whole months of doing whatever we wanted to do, which was mostly nothing - hanging out with friends, riding bikes, helping around the house, going to the local "plunge" at a nearby high school to go swimming, and to the Dairy Queen for a cone for a whole $.10 cents.

Gas was cheap, we would walk everywhere in the neighborhood, we felt safe! We could be kids and not have any worries or cares, except for the periodic friendship feud, or getting home late for dinner. These days were fun, really fun! We didn't worry about the ice cream truck or gangs driving by drilling bullets into homes and innocent kids playing on the street. Even the cars, would approach slowly and give us a chance to move our games aside as they passed by.

There was always one house on the street that everyone went to and played in the front yard or backyard - the sounds of laughter and cheer were everywhere. Ah, those summer days, gone by so quickly and the memories that went with them.

Today, as grands, we think about how to entertain our young grands, expensive trips to Disneyland, over night stays lasting into the week, a cruise perhaps, or a trip to Hawaii?
What happened to the simple times of just being together. Talking and listening, taking walks around the block, planting gardens, or going to the library to join the Summer Reading Program? We feel like we have to keep busy and keep doing things because that is what our grands are being brought up to think this is the way it should be. Soccer, dance, swimming, horse back riding lessons, summer camp, swimming camp, etc,etc.

Not only expensive, but what it the purpose of sending them away, instead of inviting them over and creating memories of summer with them? Sharing the days of our youth, and what we did are fascinating history lessons for children who experience nothing like what we did. Instead, it is filled with wars, racial hatred, bigotry, persecution of Christians, child abuse and kidnapping, serial killers, drugs, violence on t.v. and online games and video games. The idea of being able to play outside in one's yard is even scary because of the pedophiles that cruise the streets looking for victims, perhaps even the next door neighbor is suspect. We don't sit on porches drinking lemonade and eating warm cookies fresh from
the oven.

Cooking, sewing, paper dolls, dress up, tea parties, playing catch, swinging on an old tire from the tree, planting a garden, going to the library, an arboretum, a museum, a park, historical places that have meaning. An old mission in California, the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia, a botanical garden or bird sanctuary. All affordable and in most towns.

Make those Summer memories ones that you and they will cherish forever. Time together is time invested in building a legacy that will last - make this Summer the best ever!

Love them unconditionally

Accept them without condemnation

Encourage them with passion

Correct them when necessary

Respect them so they respect you and others

Trust them so they know how to trust

Appreciate them so they can appreciate others

Show fairness so they know justice and balance

Pray with them so they know God personally

Ultimately a child will feel secure and confident when these nuggets or values are given to them as precious tools for life.

The health and safety of our families is always at risk with the exposure to toxins in the home and the environment at large. Chemicals which were unknown to us as little as 20 years ago are part of everyday life. Even the EPA has a report which says that indoor air pollutions is one of the nation's most important environmental health problems.

Here are some startling facts about chemical safety; approximately 92% of all poison exposures happen in the home. Whether it is from cleaning supplies, cosmetics, or personal care items, about every 13 seconds a family member will call a poison control center about a chemical related issue. The Consumer Product Safety Commission had reported that approximately 150 common household chemicals have been linked to allergies, birth defects, cancer and other abnormalities.

As GRANDS we can assist our children by keeping them informed about safety issues we become aware of such as obsolete car seats to safety latches and even cribs. Helping them with basic safety tips can be one of the wonderful ways to protect our precious grand children, especially with the new parents adjusting to all the various disciplines they must now adjust to in their own lives.

We think sometimes that we don't have much to offer, yet, it is these bits of wisdom and knowledge in areas of life we have already experienced that make our presence valuable to our children.

Because we love them and our "littles" we want to do and give everything we can to help them be safe. One way is spending time with them, teaching them about God, family, and safety. As time goes by, they grow and remember these little nuggets of "grand" moments spent with you and will make them part of their lives too.

To be a “grand” parent means to be big, large, and heroic in the eyes of our grandchildren. To be able to fill a grandchild’s heart and life with unconditional love, let them know you are a safe place for them to come to, that with you they can find security, comfort, and honesty is a special responsibility we cannot take lightly.

Being a GRAND gives us special and unique privileges in the lives of our grandchildren.

To have “grand’ moments with the "littles" means we will have entry to their hearts by listening to their thoughts, concerns, and questions. With the world unrecognizably different than when were children; the idea of leaving your doors unlocked, being able to play in the front yard with your friends without worrying about adult supervision, knowing that the Ice Cream man sold ice cream and not drugs, or wasn’t a sexual predator that we knew of; to the young people today, none of this is possible in their world. Filled with war, rumors of war, exposure to death, pain, suffering, loss, terrorist threats a reality, kidnappings, child pornography, drugs, pedophiles and other dangers are lurking in the shadows of our grand childrens lives.

It should then be comforting for them to know that their grandparents are a safety zone, a haven of rest, a place where their little spirits can find comfort and peace. This is another reason that we need to be involved in their lives. With us they know they have complete love, complete trust, security, and safety.

We model the relationship that God wants to have with His children before them and allows us the privilege to lead them to knowing God. Living our lives before them by being an integral and vital part of their lives allows them to catch our values, develop their relationship with God and others.

Our first fruits may have been our children, but to know if what we planted really takes root, it has to show up in the next generation and the generations to come. It is with our grandchildren that we impart the greatest legacy, the greatest inheritance that they can carry into their adult lives and influence the world around them. A few years ago, a young man by the name of Jaime Foxx played the part of Ray Charles in a movie for which he won an academy award. In his acceptance speech he talked about his grandmother, how she believed in him and what she taught him.

Our influence extends beyond our lifetime, so we need to make it a legacy that will last and be carried forward. What kind of GRAND moments are you making for your grand children?

So you might be thinking;” I’ve already raised my kids, and now it’s time for me”, but the Bible clearly doesn’t mention retirement or quitting your job as a parent/ grandparent.
In fact, I Timothy even talks about the grandparent’s vital role in training up the young child. Paul told Timothy to remember what his mother and grandmother had taught him.
Isn’t it interesting that football players, and different athletes always say; “Hi Mom”, not Hi Dad? Perhaps the influence of the mother and grandmother was so great their lives that when the spotlight is on them, they take a moment to acknowledge them as a sign of respect. In fact, Mother’s Day is the one busiest telephone day of the year. Clearly, even the world acknowledges the importance of a parent's influence.

Grandchildren are wonderful little people who bring out the best in us, the child in us, the teacher in us. It is exciting to know that we can share with them the things we may have missed with our children. In a way it is redemptive; a way to make up for the past regrets, lost times with our own children, and a very special privilege to share our lives, experiences, and teachable moments with our children’s children. Our life stories take on new meaning because we are planting them as seeds in the memory banks of their minds, in hopes that they will carry these stories forward into the lives of generations to come. Trips to the park, and walks become an adventure as we open the eyes of our grandchildren to God’s wonderful creation, and introduce the beauty of imagination into their lives. We can help them look with eyes of wonder and awe, and never tire of their questions; ‘What? How? Why?’ What a grand opportunity to speak into the lives of our grandchildren in ways we could not, did not, or missed in our own children’s lives.

To be a “grand” parent means to be big, large, and heroic in the eyes of our grandchildren. To be able to fill a grandchild’s heart and life with unconditional love, let them know you are a safe place for them to come to, that with you they can find security, comfort, and honesty is a special responsibility we cannot take lightly.

Grand living is more than supplying or indulging our grandchildren with their every whim or desire, it’s teaching them about the various virtues needed to coexist and live joyfully in a materialistic society that tries to entice and lure them into thinking they need “stuff” or the next “it” toy to make them happy and content. Those will soon be left in the bottom of the closet, thrown away, or even sold on the internet – yet the time spent together; laughing, crying, singing, praying, reading, teaching and learning, those are the moments, priceless, irreplaceable moments in yours and their lives that live on in their hearts and minds forever.

As a Grandparent, you can impact your grandchildrens lives with a rich heritage and a grand legacy that will outlast any amount of material inheritance you would consider leaving for them. If all they get is the material inheritance from you, they haven’t received very much, because even the Bible says that moth, rust, and or robbers will make that disappear, but the memories, the teachable moments, time invested into their lives will last for ages.

When your grandchild looks at you, what does she see? What does he hear? Your grandchild watches the relationship between you and their parents. He hears about your relationship with God by what you share and how you walk out your trust and faith in Him before them. Our influence as a grandparent can be grand because we have no hidden agenda, nothing except pure love for them. Since we have seen and heard it all before there are no surprises.

With us they know they have complete love, complete trust, security, and safety. We model the relationship that God wants to have with His children before them and allows us the privilege to lead them to knowing God. Living our lives before them by being an integral and vital part of their lives so they can learn our values, our relationship with God, and others. There is no waste of time here it is all so precious. Oh, what we would miss by ignoring our call as grandparents, and living selfishly for our own enjoyment and pleasure? Now we have no excuse to pack up and go on a permanent vacation thinking that our job is done, when really, it is just beginning. This time of our lives is probably the most important and valuable investment that we can make, and we would be remiss to be so foolish as to ignore God’s commission to us and then wonder why we don’t hear from our grandkids, or worse, have no relationship with them at all.

Your kids are now parents. Wow, you survived parenthood, now it's their turn. You think back on all the things you know now that you wish someone had told you when you started the whole parenting thing. But now it's different, the world isn't as safe as when you were a young parent with little ones and your kids have to deal with more complex challenges than you had.
Maybe they both work outside the home; kids going in different directions with after-school activities, perhaps they are single parents, or on top of being a parent, they are also students trying to keep pace with the ever-changing business world. Whatever the situation is, they are busier and more stressed than you or I were as young parents.
Why is it then, that some of these experienced women and men; “grand” mothers and “grand” fathers want to choose to pack up our bags, get behind the wheel of an RV and take off leaving behind the greatest opportunity to impact a generation with all the wisdom, knowledge, and experience we have accumulated over the years? What greater vessel to pour ourselves into than that of the hearts and minds of our grandchildren? God has not removed that nurturing spirit within us, in fact the Bible encourages us to speak into the lives of our children’s children. Proverbs 17:6 say that our children’s children are a crown to us. Psalm 78: verses 4-7 talks about telling the next generations about all that God has done; His power and miracles so that each new generation can have hope in God as they recall and remember His miracles and choose to obey Him alone.

If you are thinking that your kids don't need you, please reconsider and think of your grandchildren - whose lives desperately need the stability and unconditional love of a Grand - you!

We have come to a turning point in our lives when we are no longer parenting our children, and take on a different role with them and their children. It's the opportunity to be an encourager, helper, comforter, a friend, and a place of security and unconditional love.
Grandchildren are a wonderful gift from God; they are a special blessing, a treasure and a privilege not a burden or inconvenience. It is about what we as grandparents can give to our children and grandchildren, and I am not talking about money!
The best inheritance we can give to our offspring is a godly legacy. Whether you are a grandparent-to-be, a new grandparent, or a long-time grandparent, this is for you! WE will talk about simple and practical ideas and suggestions that can give new ideas on you how you can connect with your family in such a way that you will leave them with a lasting impression for the rest of their lives.

I look forward to this journey of discovery in how to live the Grand Life with you!