Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Ties That Bind - Grandparents  

As grandparents, we can be the ties that bind family together. And in some cases, we become the family hub where all who come know it is safe. If there are problems in the homes of our children, in some cases divorce, or even death of a parent which are all traumatic in themselves, but to know that there is already built in and established relationship going on, will help everyone during these difficult times. In many cultures the grandparents live with their married children, and help raise the grandchildren. This gives the reinforcement of principles, traditions, values, and virtues to be handed down generation to generation. Pr 24:3 “ A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good choices with knowledge filling the rooms of the house with all kinds of valuable assets and resources.

The challenge we face in our society is to recognize what we have to offer as valuable. Again Proverbs provides an excellent resource of confirming the value of our words. In Chapter 8 starting in verse 10, wisdom is compared with precious gems, and knowledge more valuable than silver or gold, and there is nothing that can compare with that. Chapter 20:15 says that wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold and rubies.

As a grandparent, we must recognize a sad reality and truth; many people have children, but a lot of them do not want to or have no idea how to be parents. There are no Marriage 101 or Parenting 101 classes taught in school to prepare us for life. And this is where we have the unique distinction of being seasoned, experienced, tried and true “experts” in training up our grandchildren. We have earned the position to be called on by our children to help with them. But what if we are not around?

The casualty rate increases when family is not involved in the lives of young members of the family. The break in the chain, the link that should not be broken is the relationship of grandparent, grandchild however, the loss of that relationship is not felt in the beginning sometimes until it is too late. And this loss reverberates throughout the entire family and sets the course to breaking the family apart due to lack of strong family ties, family relationships, family traditions that would instead solidify and strengthen the family unit across generations. The God designed support system disintegrates when we abdicate our responsibility and take off because we want to relax, enjoy our life, not have cares, retire, etc…but the Bible does not let us get away with it because it gives grandparents a mandate to teach our children's children.

Chapter 4 of Proverbs tells of the father instructing his children as his father instructed him, and here we see plainly how one generation has passed words of wisdom to the next generation and that is being perpetuated by this father now passing this legacy to his children.

What next?

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